Dear Judgemental College Esay Readers

   Although I have not yet gone to college I have done many other less important things in my life. I have climbed the highest mountain on each continent. I have been in space, twice. I've saved a whole starving African village from rebel fighters using only my words. Some people might even go as far as saying I am the most interesting man in the universe.

   By the age of ten I had already thrown the wildest parties. I was tight with all of the celebrity super stars. I was personal friends with the prime minister and the president. I single handily started and ended World War Three. I had become fluent in five different animal languages. Strawberry Rue barb Pie is my favorite. Some people think I'm a big deal.

   At the age of fifteen I was put in charge of Canada and The United States of America at the same time. I had trained a gold fish to read my emails for me. I had an army of twenty apes as body guards. They also loved Strawberry Rue barb Pie. I was the life of parties when I wasn't even there. Every good looking girl was after me. The MLB, NHL, and the NFL wanted me to sign multi million dollar contacts with them. I had already won the World Series of Poker two years in a row. I taught a blind person sign language. Everyone thinks I'm a big deal.

   Currently at the age of seventeen I had lost and won billions of dollars. I built the worlds largest building with my own two hands. When I fish, the fish fight for me. I had out partied with the whole Jersey Shore cast. I once broke the sound barrier when I went for a light jog. I am a big deal.

   At the age of seventeen I can't think of anything else that I can do. Except to earn a collage degree!

Now I'm sure that with all my past experiences and all of my worldly knowledge I would be far too intelligent for your institution. But you don't have to worry about that because I will make sure to “dumb” myself down so that I will have no trouble fitting into your institution.